Three months? That's it? If you're a love addict, you probably just laughed. Because for us, the honeymoon period doesn't last three months. It can last a year. A year and a half. Sometimes longer. Way longer.
In this episode of HotLoveFix, we get into the honeymoon period - what it looks like on both sides of the love addiction avoidant spectrum, why it lasts so dramatically different lengths of time for love addicts and avoidants, and what it looks like when recovery changes the whole picture entirely.

IN THIS EPISODE:

We talk honestly, warmly, (and hilariously) about one of the most fascinating discrepancies in love addiction - the wildly different honeymoon experience for the love addict versus the avoidant.

You'll understand:
— Why the love addict's honeymoon period can stretch for years - and why the avoidant's can collapse in 48 hours
— The Las Vegas grid - what lights up for both the love addict and the avoidant when they first meet, and why it looks so different on each side
— Why love addicts are Z types and avoidants are A types - and what the hare and the tortoise have to do with any of it
— The childhood wounds on both sides - why neither is greater than the other, and why both are devastating
— Why the love addict stays stuck like sticky tape on a shoe - and why the avoidant can rip it off and bolt down the driveway
— What the honeymoon period looks like in recovery - and why it's 150 million times better than what came before
— The 75 to 85% rule for choosing a partner in recovery - and why sevens and eights across the board beat tens every time
— And the absolute truth that there is love for every single person on this planet - deep, dignified, hot, joyous love. Every single one of us.

Also - George Michael makes an appearance. And Tina Turner on a t-shirt. You'll see.

TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 — Important note from Sarah and Fi
0:56 — Welcome to HotLoveFix
1:00 — Today's topic - the honeymoon period
1:35 — Sarah's honeymoon periods - way longer than three months
2:07 — Fantasy versus reality in active love addiction
3:01 — The discrepancy - love addict versus avoidant honeymoon periods
3:33 — A types and Z types - how love addicts and avoidants move through the world
4:25 — The Las Vegas grid lights up for the love addict
5:05 — Why the fantasy doesn't fall off the avoidant for years
6:09 — The avoidant's honeymoon - and why it comes crashing down so fast
7:09 — 48 hours, two weeks, a month - the avoidant is out
8:08 — Drop the mic - avoidant gone, love addict still in the building
8:23 — How to identify - are you the one who leaves or the one who's left?
9:29 — Perfectionism and the love addict's belief system
10:29 — Both wounds are equally devastating - the childhood roots on each side
11:21 — The childlike self waiting for someone to switch all the lights on
12:08 — Why the love addict won't leave - sticky tape on the shoe
13:10 — The avoidant rips it off and drives down the driveway
13:26 — Both facing into their greatest fears - abandonment and suffocation
14:52 — The therapy room - Fi on sitting with avoidants in crisis
15:49 — What the honeymoon period looks like in recovery
16:41 — The kaleidoscope versus the considered pace of dating in recovery
18:44 — Going in with your brain and your heart and your genitals
20:23 — 150 million times better - why recovery changes everything
21:01 — Applaud yourself when the honeymoon period stops running the show
22:03 — The 75 to 85% rule for choosing a partner in recovery
23:04 — There is love for every single person on this planet
24:13 — See you next time - keep coming back

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IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED WITH YOU:

We read every comment and we respond. Tell us -

→ How long did your honeymoon periods last in active love addiction - weeks, months, years? We'd love to know.

→ Have you ever looked back and realised the Las Vegas grid was running the whole show - that you had no idea who the person actually was because the fantasy was so loud?

→ If you're in recovery - what does meeting someone look like now compared to before? Even just one word of the difference.

→ Do you identify more as the one who stays or the one who leaves - the love addict or the avoidant? And has that ever surprised you?

You don't need a tidy answer. Just show up in the comments however you are right now. We are building community on honest conversation and real life, not performance. And you are not alone.

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